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And listen. Sometimes those labels can bring relief. They can give us language for what we've experienced. They can validate our feelings, but if we're not careful, they can also trap us. And remember, our body is a barometer, as we've been discussing in past episodes. So always listen to your body be your own truth teller. The more you focus on labeling others, just determine for yourself, not what I say, but listen to your body. Does your body feel calm and peaceful,
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or when you listen to a lot of labels and diagnosing everyone around you. Do you feel more or do you feel less safe in the world
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again? Don't make yourself bad or wrong for getting some relief by trying to understand in your mind what is going on. It's a normal human strategy to feel more in control. Welcome to quiet mind, fearless and free, where we explore what it means to release anxiety, quiet the mind and return to the peace of your true self. I'm Leah Danley, a long time mental health therapist, spiritual seeker and fellow traveler on this journey of waking up from fear based thinking together, we'll look at the stories that shape us, the beliefs that hold us back, and the freedom that comes when we let them go. A quick note, this podcast is for educational and personal growth purposes only. It's not a substitute for therapy or medical advice. Please take what resonates and seek professional support if needed. Now let's dive in. Welcome back to quiet mind, fearless and free. I'm Leah, and today we're diving into something that might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but also incredibly liberating. We're talking about personal responsibility, not in the heavy blame yourself kind of way, but in the way that leads to true freedom. Because in a world that constantly encourages us to diagnose, label and blame, whether it's our parents, partners, bosses, politicians or even strangers on the internet, it's easy to think our suffering comes from what someone else is doing, but stay with me. What if our pain isn't actually about them? What if it's about what we're believing about ourselves in response to them? Today, I want to invite you to shift the full focus inward, not in a way that lets others off the hook for bad behavior. Just because you take self responsibility for creating your own happiness doesn't mean you lose your common sense about how to show up in the world around others. In fact, you may find yourself more empowered and clear as to whether it's in the highest good to take action, but ultimately you show up in a way that sets you free, because the truth is, no matter what someone else says or Does, our suffering only happens inside us, and that's actually good news, because if the pain is happening within us, then the power to shift is also within us, and we aren't dependent on the world around us for our happiness. Now, what a relief that is. But in order to be able to be our own responsible best friend, we need to create a safe and healing environment for ourselves, and I'll talk about that more. But first, let's start with the culture we live in. We live in a time where it's never been easier to diagnose each other. We see a Tiktok, hear a term like narcissist or toxic, and suddenly we're seeing those labels everywhere. Oh, that's why I feel this way, because they are this way. And listen, sometimes those labels can bring relief. They can give us language for what we've experienced. They can validate our feelings. But if we're not careful, they can also trap us. And remember our body is a barometer, as we've been discussing in past episodes. So always listen to your body be your own truth teller. The more you focus on labeling others, just determine for yourself, not what I say, but listen to your body. Does your body feel calm and peaceful,
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or when you listen to a lot of labels and diagnosing everyone around you, do you feel more or do you feel less safe in the world?
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Again, don't make yourself.
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Bad or wrong for getting some relief by trying to understand in your mind what is going on. It's a normal human strategy to feel more in control, but there is balance to everything, and remember we are filtering it through our own beliefs. So what I want to caution is when we focus entirely on what's wrong with them, we stop asking the more important question for our freedom, and that is, what is this situation revealing about what I believe about myself? Okay,
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I'm going to say it again.
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Think of an upsetting situation and ask yourself, what is this situation revealing about what I already believe about myself, and I'm just using that as even more evidence of that belief system. It's probably not something that's brand new today. It's something that has reoccurred over time. You can trace it back all the way, probably to being a child,
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but this is where the real work is, the place where transformation truly begins, as we've discussed in previous episodes, our beliefs about ourselves create the filter through which we see the world. In episode six, I called this our frequency, the energy we radiate as we transform our beliefs, our frequency shifts, we either begin to see the world differently because we had been misperceiving all along, or we stop attracting the same kind of situations and people into our lives that reinforce that belief system. Either way, we break free from the patterns of the past and begin to live in peace even when there's chaos around us. So let me tell you a secret, you have a superpower. Wait, what a superpower. But I feel trapped in patterns a lot. How can I ever relate to wonder woman or Superman?
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Well, the superpower is our perception, our beliefs, the way we see ourselves and consequently filter the world. When we clear negative beliefs and reconnect with our true self, the world, no matter what is happening in it, can seem brighter and lighter. Our heart is open. We're still feeling our feelings, but we're able to process those intense feelings through our bodies and release them and hardships feel much less personal, and we grow to our highest potential. We're not held back. We're not playing small.
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I want to share two stories that illustrate this superpower.
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The first is from that old 1980s movie labyrinth that I wasn't really sure what that meant when I saw it the first time. If you haven't seen it, it's a fantasy story about a girl named Sarah who finds herself trapped in a magical maze trying to rescue her baby brother from the Goblin King.
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Throughout the movie, she battles illusions and tricks and challenges that seem insurmountable, but in the end, she realizes something the Goblin King, aka David Bowie, did a great job of playing. He has no real power over her. He only had power because she believed he did. And the moment she saw through this illusion, when she stood in her own truth, he lost all control over her. So think about that for a moment. What if so many of the fears, limitations and struggles we experience in life only have power over us because we believe they do?
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What if by shifting those beliefs, by seeing through the illusion we could operate from a completely different place.
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That brings me to a second story,
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this one from real life. Martin Luther King Jr, faced unthinkable threats, persecution and danger every day, but he spoke and acted from a level of courage that most of us can only imagine. He once said, courage is the power of the mind to overcome fear,
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and that's key. He knew who he was. He anchored himself in something.
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Bigger than fear. He wasn't fearless because danger wasn't real. It was real and around him all the time.
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But he was fearless because he wasn't ruled by it. Fear didn't drive the bus. Fear sat in the back seat. Why he drove the bus and am I? I'm inviting us to drive our bus and drive it from the place of presence. Is one way to put it true self. It's the US beyond the stories, the US that is our deepest knowing, our greatest wisdom, is anchored in that spiritual essence of who we are. So here's what I want you to sit with for a moment. What beliefs do you hold about yourself and the world that shape how you move through life? Now we've been talking about this throughout all these episodes. We're finally up to number eight, and this is the last one of the season. So you've looked at all these different coats that you wear and these protector parts that come in, and these frequencies, and so you probably have an idea now, what are those beliefs, and are they ones that keep you small, fearful and stuck,
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or are they beliefs that free you but allow you to step into the highest version of yourself?
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Now, let me give you another real life example that has occurred to everyone of us in some form. So let this resonate where, where it works in your life. Okay, so let's say someone criticizes you at work, and some of you may think, you know, criticizes me at home or in my relationships. But for this example, this person is being criticized at work,
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and maybe they had their idea dismissed in a meeting and they thought it was a great idea.
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Well, the conditioned mind, based on what all has been wired in up to this moment, immediately creates a meaning around that action.
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It could be they don't respect me, or for someone, it's I'm not taken seriously. And then there might be a reason for that, because I'm a woman, or because I'm the new person, or whatever, whatever that thing is that's a wound for you. Or it could be I'm not good enough,
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or I don't matter,
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okay. Or it could be, it's unfair. Life is unfair. This is just evidence of that again, here it is. It's unfair,
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okay, now because of that thought, you're feeling hurt, maybe even angry,
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and then, if it's a well practiced pattern, our wonderful intuitive bodies chime in, because there are barometers and maybe a headache will start occurring. Or maybe for you, it's a stomach ache arises, or it's tension in your your neck, like it is for me.
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But notice this, the pain isn't coming from what they did
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that could be seen almost as a neutral event. Now, just stay with me. I know this feels like a stretch,
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but literally, words are just coming out of someone's mouth, words that have everything to do with their own filtering their own backstory,
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but it's hurting you, because the story that you attach to it is painful. It's telling you you aren't something that you want to be.
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Not good enough, per se, for instance,
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because if someone dismissed your idea and you truly believed my ideas are valuable because I'm valuable. I mean, I doesn't mean every idea has to be a rock star, but I am valuable. My ideas matter, no matter how anybody else reacts. And it's okay, they may not get put into fruition. They may not actually happen, but I know my value and my ideas are valuable, and I can just let go. Okay, doesn't mean anything about me as a person, if this person doesn't like my idea, well, if we had that belief, it wouldn't sting in the same way. And this is where personal responsibility comes in, not ever to shame yourself guilt yourself, but to free yourself. Okay, so it all has to be done with this layer of compassion and gentleness around our humanness. We all have our unique version of human that we're dealing.
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It so it's not about saying, oh, I should just let people treat me however they want. It's about realizing that every painful interaction is an opportunity. It's showing you where an old belief is still running in the background, an old wound that's calling to you, asking for your healing,
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and this is where we come in as being a warm, safe, compassionate, healing environment for ourselves, if we choose to so quiet mind self discovery process is something that I've been developing, and let me just tell you a little bit about this. This is a path to inner freedom, and I want to briefly walk you through it. It's a method designed to help you heal trauma and shift from condition patterns into clarity, self compassion and personal freedom. This process guides you in understanding where old beliefs are keeping you stuck and helps realign you with a deeper truth. So this quiet mind self discovery process or qSd isn't something I invented.
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It's a culmination of over 25 years of sitting with clients, witnessing what actually helps people heal trauma and find real peace. It's shaped by my experiences, but nothing in it is new. It's informed by the incredible work of so many others, many that I can't even remember and I'm not going to be able to name, but some that come to mind immediately is the protocols that I've used in EMDR therapy, which has been foundational in my practice, also internal family systems therapy. There's also the choose again methodology, and though I haven't studied it deeply, I believe there's parallels with Gabriel mates, compassionate inquiry and Byron Katie's the work process, as well as many others that have approaches for deep emotional processing, this process reflects what I found to be most effective in helping people soften their stories, release the past and reconnect with their true selves so they can feel peace and freedom.
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So if that sounds good to you, stay with me. Here's a brief overview of the phases, and not necessarily in order. It's a fluid living method that moves in the moment, attuned to you, listening to your heart's deepest wisdom. Here's some of the pieces. One is grounding in presence, really learning how to settle into stillness, connect with your breath, and asking yourself, Am I willing to see this differently?
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And being honest, sometimes the answer is no, and then you don't continue with the process, and that's okay. There's there's a beauty in that authenticity in that moment. Am I willing to see this differently? And when there is a little bit of a crack in that window and you're able to see out, the answer will be yes, and you can continue on.
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Another piece of this is releasing resistance, really learning to soften any internal struggle and resistance and judgment and just allow what arises, really welcoming ourselves to be where we are at as humans.
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So that's working with some protector parts, letting go of perfectionism, whatever the protectors are for you.
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And then another piece is body awareness and sensory noticing, so shifting our attention to how our emotions feel in the body, feeling them as energy, moving through and not analyzing them so much in our head, okay, and that's including releasing the stories in our head, which is what quiet mind has talked about for ever since we started this,
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and then recognizing the trigger. So what was upsetting in that moment, identify what caused your emotional discomfort, and then being able to name emotions. And there's going to be a feeling sheet that I'm going to put on my website, quiet mind collective.com, that's going to be free. It'll be coming soon, and you can download that and then have a better chance at naming as many emotions as possible, I find that to be super helpful not to just label everything as anger or everything as shame. There's a lot of nuances to all of that that can help us fully show up authentically with what's going on in our experience. And also we're going to.
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Look at where does it show up in my body. So am I feeling hurt, and am I feeling it in my stomach, or am I feeling it in my chest, or is it in my throat, where I feel like I can't speak? Okay? So really getting good at that. And then another piece is tracing it back when needed, finding that earliest memory, that Touchstone experience, some of those really impactful memories that helped us solidify that negative belief system that that young child made up. Because no longer do we want that child to be driving the bus of our life. We don't need to be guided by multiple child parts, we want to be guided by our true self beyond those child parts and those stories. So this is all about getting that true self, that presence, that highest, most wise part of us in the driver's seat of our bus. Okay, and then identifying the root beliefs. So as you go back, you look at that memory, then you discover, what did you make that experience mean about yourself or the world?
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And then you question that belief from a place of presence, so asking if the belief is true, and exploring, who would you be without that belief?
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And then also, some of us are without understanding why, fairly addicted to our belief system, even if it's negative. And so being honest with why would we want to keep that belief? What if it's a belief I'm bad. Why would I want to keep that belief and just doing this again with so much gentleness, as we are just human having experiences, and then as we question that belief, beginning to learn to soften into that wholeness, and part of that is meeting that inner child with compassion, offering reassurance and healing, and then, in the end, reintegrating with clarity, so stepping forward with a deeper truth about yourself and a renewed sense of peace. Perhaps it's bringing that child out of the past, integrating it into your adult self, or finding a safe place for her, but really stepping into our highest potential in this life.
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And this process is designed to bring awareness to release condition patterns and reconnect you to your true self. It's more than self inquiry. It's a way back to inner freedom. Alongside the qSd, there's going to be healing activation techniques. We're going to talk about these over time. There are powerful tools that'll help facilitate this process. Some of them are a technique using two hands, and we can put one state of mind in one hand and the other in the other, and we go back and forth. And that that can help using again the body to determine what is our truth in that moment. And then there's other ones that are that are much deeper and go more into true self mindful meditation type practices, inner advisor, meditations, energy release practices, all are designed to deepen transformation and make emotional processing more effective and freeing. Okay, so overall, this process isn't about fixing yourself. Let's be clear,
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you are not broken. You have clouds that go by and you fall in because you're called human, but you are the sky. So it's about seeing through the false beliefs that make you think you need fixing in the first place.
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So if this episode resonated with you and you want to go deeper, I'll be sharing more about the quiet mind self discovery process inside the foundations of quiet mind, fearless and free. Course, this is a process that, again, as we've talked about, helps you move through these steps with more clarity and helps you break free from old patterns that keep you stuck. So look on quiet mind collective com for this course, and go on there and sign up for my newsletter with free resources and support. And there's more resources that I'm wanting to get out there. So just keep checking back and
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signing up, and then I'll I'll send them to you as they come. So thank you so much for being here, for walking this path with me. We need each other. We're not alone. And remember your peace is never dependent on the outside world. It's an inside job, and you are more powerful than you know.
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Until season two,
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continue to be fearless and free.
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Thank you for spending this time with me. If today's episode resonated with you, I invite you to explore more at quiet mind collective.com where you'll find meditations courses and other resources to support your journey. You can also connect with me on Instagram at quiet mind collective with Leah for daily insights and community. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love for you to follow the podcast on Apple or Spotify, and if you feel inspired, leave a quick rating and review. It really helps others find this message, and of course, share this with anyone who could use a little more peace in their life. This journey isn't about fixing ourselves. It's about remembering who we are beneath the noise of the mind, and when we quiet the mind and open the heart, we realize we already had everything we needed to be fearless and free and.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
