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If you're used to being treated in a certain way, whether it's with criticism, neglect or even indifference, you'll unconsciously look for that same treatment in your relationships as you seek to reinforce your core beliefs.
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Welcome to a Quiet Mind, Fearless and Free. A podcast for those ready to quiet the mind, release fear, and step into the freedom of their true nature. I'm Leah Danley, a trauma-informed psychotherapist and Dietitian with over 25 years of experience guiding people beyond the stories that keep them stuck. As the founder of the Quiet Mind collective, I bring a blend of psychology and spirituality to help you move past the noise of the mind and reconnect with the deeper intelligence within each week, we'll explore a question to reflect on with curiosity and compassion, whether it's taming the inner critic, surrendering control or finding stillness and chaos.
This is a space for deep listening transformation and remembering who you truly are. And hey, this podcast is for educational purposes only, so if you feel distressed at any point, it may be a signal that it's time to seek professional mental health or medical treatment. Now let's dive in. Welcome back to the quiet mind, fearless, and free podcast. I'm Leah Danley, and this is season one, from Fear to Freedom, releasing anxiety and embracing your true self. In this season, we've been uncovering the beliefs and patterns that keep us trapped in fear and anxiety. Last week we talked about protective patterns, those heavy coats we wear to shield ourselves from emotional pain. Today, we're exploring judgment, how it blocks love, creates separation and reinforces the very stories that keep us disconnected. We'll also focus on deep listening, both to ourselves and others, and how it creates the space for the miracle of present-moment awareness.
When we release judgment, we begin to connect more deeply, not by forcing things through the programmed mind, but by staying quiet and truly listening with an open heart, whether you're someone who trusts deeply in your faith and or approaches life from a spiritual perspective, this episode is about opening to the possibility of not knowing, letting go of the belief that we, which is usually run by the programmed mind, have all the answers and being willing to meet others where they are with respect and compassion. Let's dive in. Let's start by looking at what judgment really is. Judgment is often rooted in fear, fear of being wrong, fear of being hurt, or fear of losing control when we judge others or ourselves, it creates separation. Here's how judgment blocks love. When you judge someone, you stop seeing them as they are and start seeing them through the lens of your own beliefs.
This reinforces the story in your mind about who they are or who you think you are, and it creates distance. For example, if you hold the belief that I know what's best for someone else, you might find yourself constantly critiquing their choices, assuming your way is the right way. But what if we were open to the possibility of not knowing? What if we trusted that each person is on their own path learning what they need to learn in their own time? This doesn't mean abandoning your values or beliefs. It means recognizing that there is more to life than what any of us can fully understand. Judgment blocks the very love we're all trying to experience. It's a barrier we put up when we think we know better, but love flows most freely when we approach others and ourselves with curiosity, respect and an open heart, the antidote to judgment is deep listening.
Deep Listening isn't about fixing, solving or even agreeing. It's about staying present, both with yourself and others, and allowing the miracle of present moment awareness to unfold. Here's what I mean when you're in a conversation, notice how often your mind is busy preparing what you're going to say next. Past, or forming an opinion about what the other person is saying, or worrying about how you are coming across. That's the program to mind at work, always rushing, always trying to control the outcome and your image. But when you quiet the mind and listen deeply, something shifts. You begin to truly hear not just the words, but the emotions, the energy and the meaning behind them. There is a deep love and acceptance of yourself and the other that silently shows up, and this applies to how you listen to yourself too when you're overwhelmed by anxiety or fear instead of trying to fix it, pause, ask yourself, what is my body telling me right now?
What do I really need in this moment? Deep Listening allows you to connect with the present moment where all the noise of the programmed mind fades and the quiet wisdom of your heart, your true self begins to emerge. Let's talk about relationships for a moment, because judgment plays a huge role in how we relate to others. Remember when we talked about how familiar frequencies shape our experiences? If you're used to being treated in a certain way, whether it's with criticism, neglect or even indifference, you'll unconsciously look for that same treatment in your relationships as you seek to reinforce your core beliefs. And remember, these are often unconscious programs that hopefully, through this journey together, we will make more conscious. Here's how all this shows up. Your partner does 10 kind and loving things, but your mind focuses on the one moment they act impatiently, you start gathering evidence to reinforce a belief like, I'm not lovable, or people always let me down.
This isn't about blaming anyone. It's about recognizing how we use others to confirm the beliefs we already hold about ourselves. When you release judgment, you begin to see the person in front of you for who they truly are, not just a reflection of your own stories, and you free yourself from your own beliefs that drive self judgment, deep listening creates space for both of you to grow. Growth can take many forms. It isn't always peaceful, especially at first, when you are becoming more aware of your patterns, but back to deep listening and releasing judgment when you stop using the other person to reinforce a belief like, I don't matter and realize that you matter regardless of how someone else treats you, something shifts. Sometimes the love between you deepens, and other times it means recognizing that truly loving yourself and even the other person may require no longer accepting certain behaviors or treatment I'd like to share a practice to help you move out of judgment and into deep listening.
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Step One always is just to pause and breathe in doing so it connects you back to your true self in that present moment with all the wisdom available to you. So go ahead and do that right now. If you're in a place where that is safe and convenient, pause breathe
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and just give yourself a moment to notice what's arising when you notice judgment arise towards yourself or someone else.
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Just pause again, observe.
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Take a deep breath and feel into your body. Your body is a natural barometer of so many things, and we'll talk about that more in future episodes. Notice where the tension or discomfort shows up you.
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This is where you know you're not at peace, and a learning opportunity is present. Now step two is to get curious again. Never judgment, but get curious. Ask yourself, What am I feeling right now? What story is my mind telling me about this situation or myself? Is this story really? Really true? I or is it something that I experience frequently, which would give me a hint that it could be a very familiar pattern.
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Now, the next thing is, when you're with someone another practice that relates to all of this is listening deeply.
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So when you are with someone else,
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let go of the need to respond right away.
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Focus on truly hearing them without forming an opinion or preparing what you'll say next. And if you're listening to yourself, still listen deeply and ask, What do I need right now, what is my body or heart trying to tell me? Deep listening and curiosity, pausing, breathing all creates the space for love, understanding, true wisdom and connection to flow, both within and between us all. Thank you for sharing this space with me today. Releasing judgment isn't always easy. It requires awareness, patience and a willingness to let go of the need to always be right. But when you replace judgment with deep listening, you create the conditions for love to flow in ways you may not have thought possible. Next week, we'll explore releasing control, how surrendering the need to control life's outcomes can lead to profound peace and freedom. Remember you are already whole, already worthy and deeply lovable. Until next time, take a deep breath and trust the quiet, heart centered wisdom within you
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see you next week.
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If this reflection resonates with you, I invite you to follow me on Instagram at quiet mind collective with Leah. In my bio there, you'll find a link to my free 15 minute meditation. It's a simple guide to help you step back from the roller coaster of the mind and reconnect with your heart centered wisdom. Thank you for joining me on this journey. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, share it with someone who might need this message, or leave a review to help others find this podcast. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we'll explore how to work with the past, navigate the conditioned mind and untangle its sticky web one step at a time. And hey, let's make this a two way conversation. Drop me a message and let me know what resonated with you. I'm here for the stories and the connection to until next time, stay curious, stay present, and remember you already have everything you need to be fearless and free. You.
